Thoughts + Project Lehman

Today, I got my case for my Project Lehman build.  I am very amazed at the craftsmanship and design in today's cases.  I can't remember how long its been since I had a desktop.  My last one was a Pentium III in the old school beige off white colorway!

Anyhow, I am marveled at what the world has become, how we have shifted into a digital world.  I told myself this would be a slow build, but I dunno if I am that patient.  As of now, I am still researching the necessary components, but this build is for the experience and fun.

I've just ordered the fan upgrades.  So it should be good and keep me busy.  I gotta remember that this is a slow build.  I'm not sure which route to go though, but this will probably be a mid lower tier build.  I would at least like to run the ivy bridge chips though.

On the other side of things, I feel a bit weird.  I need to be more positive and just let things go..  I want to be there for my fam, but I am torn.  It's good that my sibling get to see the world, and perhaps it'll help him understand and appreciate things more.

I know I want to go w/ him, but I have to sacrifice and anchor home.  Being a leader, and a manager means sacrificing.  I just hope others understand.

Stock Short

The picture does the talking.  Yesterday was Tuesday.

The question is, what do I do now?  Do I book my profits?  Let it run? Scale out?

I am watching the bigger context, but there is no doubt in my mind that this trade has proved favorable and is targeted to fall further.  I want to capture that movement though, but I won't chase ticks.

She told me so.

As of 3:12 EST (New York Time), I've sold out of my longs for a profit and initiated a short.  This stock missed today's rally and is weak in its sector.  I'll hold it over night assuming all risks as this is my game plan.

Remorse is the worst feeling in trading, and even as I watch my LONG go higher, I should be content and realize that my intra-day move is what allowed me to profit.

Pattern reading tells me, tomorrow will open red, but we shall see.  I don't call it, but I anticipate it.  But the most important thing is my reaction.  Whether it goes with me, or against me, I need to know what my next step will be.

In light of it all, the past few weeks have been the best trading of my young career.  Discipline and understanding goes a long way.

Fate

I don't know where to categorize this, but I just feel mellow.  I feel super down, but not in the spirited way.  It seems like my focus and mindset has drifted away into something else.

I know what it is though.  I just wish to have a second chance.  It's really not worth taking stupid risks.  Sigh.

What does she say?

What the tape says, what the market does is very important.  One must look at the different levels and context of trend and direction.  Price action as they call it, is also important.  Even so, none of it matters.

To keep it simple, the path of least resistance. 

I have booked profits for the day and closed out my LONG.  I am positioned and shorting into the weekend knowing what the risks are.  This is my reading of the tape and this is an exposure I will accept.

As always, don't over think it, just trade it.  What's important is how you react to something when it doesn't go your way.  I am ready both ways.

I think I'm being too harsh on everything.

Tape

Tape reading.  I'm sitting here, reading the tape. A downward slide and fear.  Why?  I don't know, nor do I care to reason.  The tape, the price is all that matters. 

Oil is below $80.  I would suggest this to be a better indicator than a 2% drop in the indices.  Still, it matters nothing to me, as I just trade the tape.

Anyhow, my trading stock exhibited much strength, but still followed the downward path.  I was caught in the typical pendulum thought process again.

Large upward trend in tact.  I'm not dazed by it just yet.  Therefore I am LONG into Friday.

Respect

The tape was incredibly bullish today from the get go.  The over night indicators were mixed, but none the less, it indicated sideways or upper.  I knew I was stuck, but didn't realize it was stuck so bad.

I was uncertain on whether to react and chase, but I eventually did, but a bit later than usual.  Still, I had to respect the tape and what it told me to do.

Is this a reversal in the refiners?  It's chopped around so much, had a few fake break outs and break downs.  It is beat in the context of the big picture.  Regardless, big broad markets do the talking.

I am LONG.

Tomorrow is FOMC day, and there can be excitement at the usual times of day.

Respect the tape, and trade.  DO NOT THINK TOO HARD.

Pattern

The tape has exhibited weird patterns today.  For the 2nd time, after hours showed futures gapping up, but the movement was faded instantly.  This pattern occurred again on the euro zone news.  It was computer driver and nothing confirmed it.

I got bias due to my positioning and believed it would trend higher.  Of course I was wrong.  I took the 'sell' side.  Is this chasing?  I don't know.  Patter and FOMC day this week will make it interesting.

There are lots of artificial things in this world..

Fakes

Fake tape is what fake tape does.  I've seen this before.

It either remains up or falls down.  I will continue to short gasoline related stocks!

All talk...

Some people talk and talk.  They do all the antics, they do all the preliminary things, but in truth, their character is how they were 10 years ago, 20 years ago.  I begin to realize the meaning of how it is easy to shape a mountain, but difficult to change one's personality.

When I was disappointed and ditched in high school, it was a sign.  To be ditched in college was another.  Now in the real world, I'm ditched again.  I should have known.  Time was validation though.

- - -

It's nice spending time w/ people that understand and can relate.  The rest is just a show.  Gimmicks are what gimmicks are!

Better

I've been trading pretty good.  It's been a very good week for me !!

Reading and trusting your eyes in the CLEANEST FORM.  No need for gimmicks.

Need to get back to DT level!!

Pattern & Reading

I took 3 trades today.  I suspect today was one of those DEJAVU ones where it was either going to STAY UP or SELL DOWN.

I was up nearly 4% and decided to let it run because the broad market indicators suggested that it was one of those days.  At the close now, the broad markets did just that, but STOCK A didn't! The stock didn't follow suit and instead drifted lower and even dipped into the red once.  I was able to book a gain; I then attempted to short a comparable stock.

Stock B (comparable one) was much stronger and remained elevated as well.  Towards closing, I covered this intraday trade short and jumped back into Stock A for a LONG position. 

- - -
I displayed bad compulsive trading today.  Perhaps one of those over-trading syndrome that we all get when we want to chase something.  To validate either side A or side B, I had to play all scenarios in my head, as well as recognize the pattern.

Strong is what strong does and though it might be suspicious it is evident for a reason.  A 'false tale' might be in the works though.  Was I arguing against the tape?  Either way, I guess I must trade with conviction.

I did learn one thing though.  I should've booked my profits and be done with it.  Been there, done that, quite a few too many!

People take you for granted.  At times, even family members do.  It's gotten to the point where disrespectful actions are taking place.

It's a shame.  I guess some things need to be done the 'hard' way.

Thoughts

Work has started to evolve itself.  It's come to a point where things are either going to renew themselves or signal a necessary change.

I've had weird habits recently.  I guess it's part of life.  Bad!

Another chance

Sometimes life give you signs, or perhaps, signs are found in life.  I wish to have a second chance and not take things for granted.  Life is very humbling and when I find this tranquility I will be at peace.

As of late, nothing really matters, aside from the fact that health is #1.

ER

I've been to the ER with others before.  I've taken my Uncle there, been with my Grandma.  But never would I imagine myself going there.  In light of it all, I knew I had to go to the ER to treat my condition and it was inevitable that I take this first step.

In pain for a few days, I managed to get a visit to my regular doctor, but even after the visit, I didn't feel assured.  No longer could I prolong my first visit as a patient to the ER.  So I dialed my dad and had him take me there.  So many thoughts ran through my head.  I began to feel the warmth and unconditional love in my family.  I realized what it means to 'love' someone.

Painfully getting into the car, I tried to alleviate my anxiety by talking.  At the same time, I continued to get in contact with my mom who was out of town with my little brother.  I must have left 20-30 missed calls on her cell!  As I look back, I began to realize why people say once a parent, always a parent!

Sitting there as I await my name, I was nothing but frantic and anxious.  I looked at the other patients there, and began to sympathize for everyone.  Still, I sat there in shock; thinking what would happen to myself.

When I finally got to the room, I had my first 'IV' and it took about 2 tries to get it hooked up.  I guess the vein on my left arm didn't want to listen.  They drew blood samples from me, and gave me morphine, which didn't have an effect on me.

As time ticked, my father was dozing off.  After all he was working all day, and with me into the night.  As I waited, my mind again began to wonder about the procedure.  It was about 10 PM or so, and I was wheeled to the CT SCAN room. 

When I returned to my room, I continued to wait and wait.  I must say, the nurse I had was extremely amicable and skilled.  After more waiting, the on call surgeon finally came in.

At that point, my body was in shock.  I was wondering whether or not I would have to go to another room, or whatever, but it seemed like the drainage was in store right then and there!  The surgeon instructed for another round of pain killers through my IV, something that buzzed me right away.  As I turned my body, I started to cringe as I anticipated the upcoming pain.  It was indeed painful and I wondered whether or not the numbing medicine worked.  I began to grasp the handle on my bed harder and cringed my face while I tried my best to breathe.  After a few more minutes of dialogue between the nurse and surgeon, it was finally over.

Pheww.  What an experience.  Perhaps the worst day of my life, although it made me have a 2nd take on life in a very meaningful way.

I can finally breathe.  Hope I get better.

LA

LA


Going to LA was an eye opener for me.  I had many expectations of it and at the same time, I was anxious to see what this place was about.  All the talk about LA being a big city, in perhaps the most popular place of the world really boiled up my hopes.


When I got there, the first few days required me to get acclimated to the weather.  It was quite cold at night, and I'll never forget that feeling when I first set foot out of the terminal.  A diverse range of people flooded in front of me, definitely different from home.  Everyone seemed like they had a schedule to tend to, and this was evident by the pace and body language.  Unlike home, where people could assimilate traffic hours, or weekend tail gates, LA was a place with all sorts of things going on.


There was so many things that happened, and I got to experience a lot of things.  Perhaps it is too detailed for me to write in words, or maybe some things are better kept for just myself.  I found out a lot about personalities as well and discovered what type of person I became to me.  


There were times where I felt frustrated, neglected and un-wanted, but I continued to maintain myself.  


I guess you could say, the next time around, I am not going to let someone drive the ship.  I'm going to be the leader and arrange things the way it 'should' be.  The first time, I couldn't orchestrate, but as time went on, I began to realize what I 'ought' to do, and what I 'should' do.  There is no way, I'm going to be left out in the dust that way anymore.  What's great is that, people do have eyes, and though I felt awkward in many incidences, other people could see to it as well.  Other people could see how people treated one another.  This is what my mom has always taught me, and in life, these are the occurrences.


I'm so tired, there is so much to say, but things are back in gear with work.